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Im Sober and My Spouse Is Not Marriage and Sobriety


We all make mistakes in relationships, right? Yeah, that’s how you define these things, is to say it’s a transition and we’re building new sort sober house of a new way to relate to one another. So, the healing comes in, in our ability to manage emotions. I think it’s really, really interesting.



And the consequences that follow those various styles need to be understood and talked about. In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from. It’s the private, on-demand sober coaching course you need to break out of the drinking cycle – without white-knuckling it or hating the process. And when you stop drinking new ways of communicating and interacting with your partner can strengthen your relationship as it is adjusting to the new normal. When we aren't posting here, we build programs to help people quit drinking.


We're Ready When You Are.


They kind of checked out on their kids. But they said, Well, maybe we could have a nonalcoholic happy hour. So, they tried to develop a new ritual.


Should a sober person date a drinker?

For all this, it is not impossible for a drinker and a sober person to date; like any relationship, however, it requires work, patience, communication, and understanding. Ironically, the sober partner may have an advantage.


Because you’re not going to be the same person you were when you drank. Remember that alcoholism is a progressive and incurable disease but recovery is possible. Encourage your spouse to seek help and be patient and supportive throughout the process. When you are ready to take action, we can help you at Gratitude Lodge in Southern California.


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Is your spouse ready to go into recovery but doesn’t know where to begin? Contact Casa Palmera today, where our compassionate and experienced team can help you and your partner get the help you—and your marriage—need. While you may harbor resentment or anger toward your spouse, it’s often counterproductive or damaging to constantly rehash these feelings. Instead, you can vent and navigate your emotions in a personal journal. Journaling can help you process your emotions without hurting your spouse or causing an unnecessary argument. The recovering addict must also be patient as his or her spouse works to rebuild trust.



Sobriety is a wonderful opportunity to rebuild and strengthen your marriage and can allow you both to heal from the hurt that you have sustained from addiction. When those factors take precedence, then you can more confidently support your spouse throughout their recovery. Start by getting in touch with your old hobbies. Contact friends and family members and make a commitment to spend quality time with them.


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I asked John one time, don’t tongue out when he said, So how do you find interdependency? And he said, I define it as, basically an agreement within the relationship for partners to express to each other what they think, what they feel, and what they need. No one wants you to have to get a divorce to cope with addiction unless you are unsafe or being abused. The hope is that being in treatment will allow your significant other the opportunity to get and stay sober. Looking back and seeing that you did everything you could to help them will give you the ability to see your courage and tolerance. Each partner should receive individual treatment before starting crucial couples counseling to decrease the risk of relapse for both partners.


  • Beginning your partner’s recovery journey as a team means talking about it openly and coming up with a plan of action.
  • All questions seemed to be loaded, and even compliments seemed to carry an air of disapproval.
  • That’s yeah, I don’t have a set definition.
  • Remember that it is okay to get angry and express your emotions with your partner.

Your partner may relapse one or more times before finally achieving long-term sobriety. According to 2018 research, supportive relationships with family, spouses, and sponsors help those working toward sobriety sustain their recovery. Even if your partner stops using drugs and alcohol, if the codependency itself isn’t addressed, this dynamic will continue to affect the relationship. Some couples can thrive immediately after the addicted partner becomes sober.



With that being said, when they cross a line be sure to communicate your feelings and do not accept abusive behavior. When a loved one is addicted to a substance, some people develop a set of behaviors, thoughts, and actions known as codependency. Codependency occurs when the non-addicted person gets their needs met by caretaking for the addicted individual.



It was early 2015 when I told him I wanted a divorce. Don’t feel disheartened if things aren’t fixed straight away. Rebuilding a marriage will take a lot of hard work, dedication, and consistency. However, little by little, through proving themselves and their ability to transform, partners can begin to have confidence again.



And as distracted as you are with your efforts to live in sobriety, you might occasionally feel panicked. What will life look like sober and single? When I quit drinking, even though my husband supported me, he said to me, you don't need to stop drinking; you're okay. After about 90-days of sobriety, he changed his tune. Throughout addiction, people often shut out their intimate partners.